REGRETS, DAD
I'm sorry, more I did not care.
I had the chance while you were here.
It's just that I was unaware.
I never saw you shed a tear.
I did not know you had been hurt.
You always seemed all right to me.
But when you said, "I feel like dirt."
I sensed something I could not see.
Too late I learned you felt no good.
I cursed the ones who told you so.
They stopped your being what you could
And thus gave you nowhere to go.
That left a hole for you inside,
A wound for life to feel alone
Because someone could not abide
A sin for which you should atone.
Despite your wound you handled well
All obligations that you bore.
You cared for me, that I could tell.
I now know why there was not more.
Had you told me what I know now
I could have tried to make amends.
To you I would have made a bow.
We would have been much more than friends.
I washed you, dressed you, helped you shave.
When we went out I helped you walk.
I set you in the tub to bathe.
But through it all we did not talk.
I'm sad you thought I seemed so cold,
That I told you by being gruff
Your effort even to grow old
I felt was never good enough.
If I could do it all again
I'd hug you at least twice a day.
I would try more to ease your pain.
"I love you", is the least I'd say.
My memory of your last night
Is comfort for which I am glad.
Hand held, oft times to aid your 'flight'
I said, "You did a great job Dad."
Saturday, October 7, 2006 at 09:26AM
Reader Comments (17)
Thanks for sharing your revelation in such a thought provoking way.
Love, Sharon
Doug...as you can see, I'm still having my "computer challenges". Nevertheless, I will post my foremost thought. I am so thankful that you invested your life in Dad for the time you did. Thankyou for loving him the way you did...Love Sharon
I made your posts look the way there were intended. Second beautiful thoughts are always welcome. Love Doug
Beautiful and Sensitive!! Wonderful!
Carolyn
I remember your dad so very well but I never got to "know him". How very lucky we have been to have had such good and caring parents.
Cousin Sue
im sorry you didnt value what you had until it was gone .i still have my dad and once again it reminded me to adore him
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Yessenia, it is not that I didn't value my father. I thanked him many times over the years for the support he had given me. I just didn't know that he needed my support during the last 3 years of his life. I cared for him but he didn't talk and I was too inexperienced to understand his body language. So listen carefully to the 'words' a body says. Doug.E.Barr
I still want to help u and love u.But u have meet.luv.take care.
Wish to meet u help u seriouI was scared but now not.
Donot regratu are cute.loving.speak the truth everything will be fiotherwise it will be too late.
just so powerful, you've made me cry. I'm sorry you didn't value your dad as much as you should have, my dad is still alive but he might as well be dead. The distance between us is too great a chasm for either of us to cross. But your words have touched me maybe I'll give us another try.
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Again, I am sorry too. My Dad would tell me it felt good when I washed his back while he was sitting in the tub. I now regret stopping after a few minutes. I could have shown him he had more value by washing his back until he said it was enough. He liked to shower but I had to steady him so I quit when I got tired. I tired too quickly. I should have shown him he was worthy of me holding him up until he was tired like he did for me when I was learning how to skate. It would have cost me nothing to show Dad at the end of his life that his was priceless. Let me know if you reconnect with your Dad. I think it will be worth the effort. Doug.E.Barr
i like that this poem was posted for people to see. i think its hard sometimes when you have a feeling of regret and i know from personal expierence that it becomes easier when u can get those feelings of your chest.
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Thanks again for writing. Perhaps by sharing our regrets we will have fewer regrets to share. Doug.E.Barr
Doug I'm not very good at this computer stuff and have know idea how I got here from there...But I loved your poem . No regrets your dad loved it too..I belive
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Serendipity! I love it! Doug.E.Barr
beautiful. this is my favorite poem yet. i am supposed to be researching poems for the poetryoutloud contest but i must admt i'm kind of a poetry freak and i absolutely had to read all these poems. love you. yuor poems are so deep, no matter if i agree with all of your views, these poems are still beast... great job Doug... keep 'em coming
-jbm<3
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With support such as this I just might be able to "keep 'em coming". Doug.E.Barr
Doug,
To-day I was remembering our Dad's birthday...even though he is with us no longer....and giving thanks for his life and legacy and looking forward to the day I will see him again. I re-read your poem and once again was brought to tears. I just so enjoyed the picture of Dad in his healthier days. Thanks again for the reminder to listen to the "words" a body says.
Love, Sharon
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Thanks for remembering Dad by reading my poem and sharing your memory with me. Love to you too.
My father was first generation immigrant, so to speak, and I was ashamed of him; he used lousy grammar and wore funny clothes. It wasn't till years after he died,when I put together an album about him for my sons, that I realized how much he loved me and that he never abandoned me. My mom died when I was six, he farmed me out to my grandmother, and I FELT abandoned. it would been good time for him to leave, as many men did. But -- He provided for me and sent me to college. Which did me little good. I hit the "glass ceiling"when I tried to get an MA. Needless to say your poem resounded with me and I regret never appreciating him, and hope if we meet in heaven he will forgive this ungrateful girl. Louise
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Thank you for telling me your story. It still must be difficult for you. I do not recall thinking about my parents at all when I was growing up. I was in my late 20s and early 30s before I began to notice them and appreciate the effort they put into my life. Although Dad lived with me for the last three years of his life I didn't do enough to prevent any possibility he might think I had abandoned him. I am not allowing those thoughts to enter my mother's mind. I hope your sons learn to appreciate you. Doug.E.Barr
Doug, This is a very beautiful piece of literature and something everyone should have the opportunity to read. You are very fortunate to have recognized your regrets and are able to express them in thoughts and words, not to mention share them with others. Your Epiphanies are your own consolation. How wonderful for you.... Let it flow. Thanks for sharing.
Linda Vick
i like dis its kool